Z's Report on metronome

Metronome

Retardation from the future, uh I mean past.

It is the year 1998 and 4 people decide to create a band. Sharaku, the vocalist/whiner of FLOPPY and 3 other members that have no name at all. As their image, they decided to have come from the near future. A very homosexual future where all hairdressers are extinct and the cleaning of one's mouth after dinner isn't a necessity anymore.

Although the goal of their "time-travel" was to boost recordsales, the only thing that seems to be boosted was their lack of inspiration. This led to numerous changes in the line-up. It makes you wonder "Did these guys come from the future just to get a new band together?" But that's beside the point.

After releasing 3 songs over about 20 singles, the band realised they had passed their year 2005, and the world wasn't so gay after all. This led to the suicide of vocalist Sharaku. Which had no actual effect on the band seeing that all of his work was done with a high-pitched-Microsoft Sam.



The outfit of these guys (as seen above) was bought from a janitor. But to keep things creative, they added some Made-in-China Power Rangers toys. Sleep deprivation and a lack of manners inspired their make-up, and a bassist with shaking hands given a scissor handled the hairdo.

Metronome is best known in Japan not for their music, but their lawsuit by Microsoft. The PV COMPUTER which was made with Microsoft-Movie-Maker and featured vocals by Microsoft-Sam, included Apple computers that were handed out because [u]nobody[/u] buys Apple computers. They lost the trial and had to pay a fine of 円 5.

The income of this band minus the fee led to their bankrupcy and now you can find the Metronome boys in the streeks of Shinjuku rocking out like it's 2005. (Which it isn't.)

In this year, Metronome requested Nintendo to feature one of their songs in an upcoming Wii game. But Satoru Iwata, President & CEO of Nintendo said he'd rather lick Mario's big Italian hairy plumber ass than include them on any game title.

This was my report on Metronome.

Next up is Malice Mizer